Going Courtin'.

Marriage is such a big step in life and it should be taken that way, in steps.  First comes the dating, then comes the courtship, then the engagement then the wedding.  When thinking of dating you should be dating around, dipping your toe in the water.  When you find someone with someone who you could see marrying then you take it to the courtship.  In a courtship though, it should be for marriage, that is President Hinkley told us.  The engagement is a very important step to come next.  You are taking that step saying, "I want to commit to you" which is huge.  Try to make the engagement a good one though, it will give you something to look back on when times are hard.  During this don't just plan for the wedding day but plan for marriage.  You are combined two lives together and that will bring changes you might of never thought of, so prepare for those.  Then the wedding, what a happy day.  But struggles will be all around and in order to keep the marriage alive you have to work on it.  When your marriage is having troubles, work on it, don't let divorce be an choice, unless very needed.  This is a sacred blessing and needs to be cared with more respect.
~m

And I'm doin' just fine.

On Monday I was thinking a lot about my family and the roles we each play.  There is me and then my two older sisters and then a younger brother and a mom and a dad.  So my brother was raised by his sisters really so he was around girl stuff all the time, but that never changed that he is still a boy.  My brother is a great guy who is strong in the church and even though he was around girl things he just naturally loved boy things, nothing changed for him.  As sisters we would try to toughen him up and tell him to be strong, like we were trying to play a male role for him but we are still girls and he is turning out just fine.  He is sixteen now and preparing for a mission and going to school and loves playing spots and video games and hanging out with girls as well as guys.  My parents of course played a role and to me it was always a lesson and we have always known what is expected of us.  As girls my father has taught us to respect ourselves and to be ladies, because that is who we are.  They both made education important and have helped us through it.  My dad always tells us the importance of finding a good young man who can take care of us.  My mom always tells us that she can marry who we want as long as they are worthy to take us to the temple.  As for my brother he was taught that it is important to serve a mission and prepare for it now and to be ready so that he will be able to take good care of his wife when that time comes.  So for us there was never anything big but we were taught life lessons and knew what we needed to do.  The church was always a major role and my parents supported us in everything we did which I think is a big deal because we are all still very active in the church and we are a close family.  Something I find interesting though is that we all were raised by the same parents, grew up in the same house but yet we are still so different.  When we are talking I am sometimes the one to disagree with the family and I feel I think different from them sometimes, which isn't bad.  That just makes me think back to that I am raised by my environment but I am who I am, I was created a certain way and even though I am similar to my family I am also different in many ways.  Another thing that got me is that for chores I remember doing outside chores more.  Well I did do housework but so did my brother and I was out in the garden pulling weeds and watering it and sometimes I enjoyed the outside work more.  I use to hate mowing the lawn but I do it and I am okay with it.  Which that goes also with now that I am older and go back home when I am off track or for the summer I am the one usually doing the chores.  My older sisters and moved out, which I will be doing officially soon, so it is just my brother at home.  When I come back though I notice that when my parents need something done, they will ask me to do it because I am the one who will most likely do it.  When they are at work I try to clean and get something done so that they can come home to something nice but even after I do that they ask me to do more. I am not complaining I am just showing that even though my brother might have a certain "man role"  I was the one doing things because my parents knew I would be responsible to do it.  Sometime yes it got annoying but I would do it.  I would get after my brother too, which he doesn't like and I do feel bad about because I'm not the mom, but if he got mad at my parents I would get after him because our parents love us so much and do so much for us that I get upset if people talk bad about their parents.  I really like the commandment of "thou shall not murmur against thy parents" I think it is so true.  Anyways back to my point is I would try to teach him to be nice and to also work to get stuff done so that he can be a good husband and father.  Also with gender roles my dad is the one cooking meals a lot.  My mom will sometimes but my dad is so good and taking charge to just help and get it done.  My dad does have a full time job, works in the garden and use to be bishop but he would still help around the house.  I always felt bad though so that is why I would try to do more of a part around the house.  My mom works as well and does help around the house so don't get me wrong there.  My mom didn't work when we were growing up though, she felt it very important to be there for us.  When it was just my oldest sister born my Aunt use to watch her but then one day Shantel called her mom and that was the end of that.  My mom quit her job and raised us all until about when I was in junior high then got a job.  She then quit again because my Grandma moved in with us after my Grandpa passed away and when her demenchia got really bad my mom did a full time job of taking care of her until she passed away and then got another job.  Another quick point I would like to hit along these lines is yes my brother was around more feminine things but he is in no way attracted to the same gender.  My brother is more sensitive but I believe it is because he was raised by girls so he knows girls more, but like I have said he is still a man.  Sometimes, now, I wonder if people were to get on him what he would be like but he is a great guy and from what we have learned in class about same sex gender attraction I know I need to look on people with a more gentle heart and see the good characteristics in them because I can make a difference in this and I plan to.

~m

All creatures of our God and King

In two of my classes we have been talking about the affects of same gender attraction on a family.  First off we are meant to love everyone.  People have different views and from a talk by Elder Oaks we need to have a balance of truth and tolerance.
In the Plan of Salvation it is required that marriage be between a man and a women.  Not just that though there are statistics that show that that marriage is better for a child.  People have done studies that show kids with the same gender parents and more likely to grow up that way, more likely to be forced into sexual activity and same gender couples are more likely to cheat before marrying their partner.
Children need a father; children need a mother, that is just how we are built.  What a mother gives, a father cannot and it's the same the opposite.  I always thought it would be hard for someone to push through that temptation (which I'm sure it is) but that can be a struggle similar to robbing someone or competing a murder, you just don't do it.  These types of feelings aren't in heaven though so for now it may be a struggle but you will be able to push through and make it to the end when we won't have to deal with temptations anymore.
~m